The following article is by my dear friend who was kind enough to loan it to me. Her father bought wrestling tickets and the following is her first hand account of the evening.

by Alecia Berman

What is Extreme Championship Wrestling? It’s a heart-warming story about a man and his “Bytch.” It’s that rare chance to see someone use a vegetable grater to shred bloody skin off another man’s forehead. And its even a golden opportunity to excitedly chant, “You suck dick!” at a midget in purple tights who calls himself Little Guido. What more could anyone ask for?
Usually, Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW) is limited to the small screen, buried under the 2:00 a.m. Friday evening slot on the Sunshine Channel. Events like the one in Dallas, where a seven-year-old accidentally killed his three-year-old brother by mimicking a wrestling move called the “clothesline,” have pretty much ensured its closeted status. But, on Thursday, July 8th their twelve to twenty year-old primary audience got to see the World Wrestling champ in Technicolor, just in time to see his life-sized middle finger extend to greet them.
In fact, nine hundred people crowded into the Ft. Lauderdale War Memorial Auditorium in search of good old-fashioned family entertainment. (emphasis mine)
It was clear this was not your average “action-adventure soap opera,” as is much of today’s bad guys versus worse guys professional wrestling. ECW’s ushers were skin head beefcakes that gleefully groped every person, probing for guns, knives, or other weapons of destruction. When the lights dimmed and the ear-drum bursting thrash-metal erupted from giant speakers, the most excitable patrons demanded, “We want blood, buckets of blood!” Children who aren’t old enough to see an “R” rated movie were about to welcome the first wrestlers to the chant of “Faggot, Faggot.”
It was touching to see father and son “bonding” by watching overgrown men dive face-first into the groin area of their spread-eagled opponents. And when Junior’s eyes popped out at the no-name girl in the audience who bared her buttocks to the drooling masses, it was almost heartwarming to join him in pleading, “Show Your Tits!Show Your Tits!” Does Mom really need to know? Junior could use another dose of desensitization and the added testosterone to boot.
What does it really matter that the only woman in the event, the aforementioned “Bytch” belonging to “The SkullKrusher,” wore only a sequined bikini top and Daisy Duke shorts? The six-year old in the devilish face-mask really enjoyed yelling, “She’s got herpes! She’s got herpes!” along with the rest of the audience.
She got slapped, punched, and beaten unconscious by Tag Team Nova and Chris Chetti. That outfit made it easier to see her butt-cheeks hanging out when The Angry Amish Chicken Plucker slung her over his shoulder to remove her from the ring.
The highlight of the evening had to be when Big Dick, one of The Dudley Boyz Tag Team, asked a front-row spectator about his sister; “Are you proud that ugly bitch bobsledded out of your momma’s cunt?” No other wrestler could match that comment, even with death-defying leaps from the top rope of the ring, acrobatic somersaults through the air, or fabulous spurts of blood flitting about after assault and battery with a metal chair.
Yes, a good time was had by all at the ECW event. Patrons were saddened to be parting company with the sweaty gladiators. They would indelibly miss the pulsating group-think, the guttural vulgarities proudly repeated over and over.
And when a late-arriving mother rolled down the window of her Volvo station wagon to ask, “How was it?” one could only reply, “Like Jerry Springer on steroids. I can’t wait until August 27 when they go national on Tennessee News Network!”
And how does the usually squeaky-clean Tennessee News Network (TNN) explain their alliance with ECW? On the ECW Website David Hall, President of TNN says, “Wrestling makes extremely popular television, particularly among teens and young male viewers. We estimate that nearly 30 million homes tune into cable each month. With wrestling, TNN can greatly expand the teen and young male audience already attracted to our Friday night sports-based entertainment.” Its all about the ratings, the market share and, of course, the money.
Paul Heyman, Executive Producer of ECW, concedes that the show will be rated PG-14. He insists, also on the website, that ECW “brings to the table the wildest action and most compelling story lines in the genre of sports entertainment.” He knows that the Greco-Roman, “Christian in the lion’s den” story line will go over big in Nashville. He’s not so sure about the “beating no-name ‘Bytch’ in bikini” part.
At any rate, its not really his concern. Ask Detective Lesher, the Dallas Police Department officer who was in charge of the investigation for the three-year old’s accidental death. The Dallas Morning News recorded him saying,“You’ve got to monitor what your kids see on TV. Parents are responsible for what their kids watch...”
The jovial man in the third-row with the hot-dog, beer and a toddler at his side was probably well-aware of that fact.
Besides, its preposterous that anyone would take any of this seriously...right?